A Minds Dark Abyss: Haven or Prison
by capricorn2645
Summary: Shuichi is raped and left to die in an alley way. When Yuki realizes he is missing he tracks down the people responsible. But little does he know that the Shuichi he finds wont be the one he remembers. And he will have to save Shuichi from himself.Rated:M
1. Chapter 1

**A Mind's Dark Abyss: Haven or Prison**

**( A/N This fan fiction takes place when Shuichi was raped by Taki. I've kind of extended it in a way...making it so Shuichi has been staying at Yuki's house for about four months …and Yuki hasn't declared them as lovers yet…This fic travels more into how Shuichi felt and what the experience did to him… that is if I get it right lol… I hope you guys enjoy it... :) **

**buchouslvr: thank you for the wonderful idea... i hope it lives up to what you thought it would be :)**

**Thank you Cappy!!! My wonderful beta and friend!!! (L) )**

At first he didn't understand. He probably did, deep down somewhere, but his mind wouldn't let him figure it out. Taki smiled at him and his eyes flashed dangerously. Then the door slid open and Shuichi could see three men standing there. His eyes widened and he looked at Taki again.

Taki chuckled darkly and slowly rose off the floor. The men came into the room and smiled lustfully at Shuichi.

"Time for a little fun," Taki hissed as he grabbed a handful of Shuichi's hair and painfully yanked him to his feet.

"Let me go!" He screamed, and got a fist to the stomach in return.

Shuichi doubled over in pain as he tried to breathe. He felt a hot breath on his ear as Taki whispered, "I'm going to enjoy this more then you can possible imagine." His tongue flicked Shuichi ear and Shuichi couldn't help but shudder away from the touch.

Taki chuckled once again, and each of Shuichi's arms was grabbed as he was hauled into the hallway.

Thoughts were running through his head as he tried to think of a way out of this. He breathed slowly, as the ache in his stomach slowly dulled. Each of his arms were held in a vice grip as he was dragged now to the door of the apartment.

The man who wasn't holding him asked Taki, "Why can't we do it here? I don't want to wait any longer."

Taki's eyes met Shuichi's and he smirked as he replied, "This is going to get messy, and I don't want to have to clean up afterwards."

Shuichi started to struggle against the men who held him. They were strong but not as fast as he was. He was able to squirm one of his arms free and punch the other man in the nose to get his other arm free. He started to run and had his hand on the door knob. But there was four of them and one of him. He was pulled to the ground, three strong bodies holding him down so he was facing up at Taki. One man held one arm; the other held the other arm and the last man held both his feet.

"You won't get away with this," Shuichi screamed, and as he said it he realized just how corny it sounded. How many times had he heard those exact words in American movies?

Taki's eyes slowly travelled up his body before meeting his eyes again. His smirk never left his face as he moved closer and closer to Shuichi. He looked down on him and slowly lowered himself onto the squirming boy. He straddled Shuichi and put his hands on either side of his head, slowly lowering himself down. Shuichi flinched away but there was no where for him to turn, no where to go.

_Yuki I need you. _

Taki's lips were a mere inch away from his, his eyes still locked on Shuichi's. He leaned forward the rest of the way but turned at the last moment, his lips once again beside Shuichi's ear. Taki moved his hands and they slowly found there way up Shuichi's shirt and they started roaming across his chest.

"If you behave yourself," He whispered, "I promise to leave Yuki alone."

He knew he had Shuichi when he felt the boy go stiff under him.

"If you behave," he said again, "No one will ever have to know that Yuki is gay. No one will anonymously send a tip to the local newspapers. Yuki's life…and career won't be ruined."

His hot breath engulfed Shuichi's ear as he whispered once more, answering what Shuichi had just said. He knew it was true, the young boy had stopped struggling and Taki could taste the salty tears that now streamed down his face.

"I've already won." And once again Shuichi could feel Taki's moist tongue on his ear, as it slowly swept down his jaw bone and his neck.

Taki sat up slowly, relishing in the fear and anguish in the young boys eyes. Shuichi tried to hold back the tears now; he wasn't going to give them anymore satisfaction.

Shuichi closed his eyes and allowed him self to be dragged out of the house. Allowed him self to be put into the car that waited outside for them. He tried to make his mind blank, hoping to escape into his mind before they started on him. The darkness was slightly comforting; in his mind he didn't have to feel the two men who sat on either side of him. He could ignore the way the one on the right moved his hands over Shuichi's chest. He could ignore how the one on the left leaned over and ran his tongue down Shuichi's neck. And he could ignore Taki's dark laughs, hinting that there was more to come. Much more then he could ever imagine.

Instead he filled the darkness in his mind with the memories of another. He could remember his golden hair, and the gleam of his eyes. The way he looked at Shuichi when he thought he was asleep. He remembered the way his hands pulled Shuichi close to his body after they were done making love. The same arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer to him. The rare smiles that seemed to come more often then the cold glares. As they drove to there destination Shuichi focused on Yuki, his only thoughts were of his Yuki.

_I'll protect you Yuki. Don't worry I'll protect you._

As the car stopped Shuichi was roughly dragged out of the back, he took comfort in the fact that he was protecting Yuki. No matter what they did to him, he would never regret saving Yuki's career. He would never regret stopping Taki from hurting Yuki.

By now they were in a different place. It looked like a basement but Shuichi had no idea where he was. He opened his eyes and saw a small bed and a door at the end of the room. He could see two of the men outside the door and Taki stood silhouetted in the light coming through the door. Their eyes met again.

"Have fun."

The door closed behind him and Shuichi was left alone with the man. This was the one whose hands had roamed carelessly under Shuichi's shirt. His eyes shinned with lust as he slowly advanced on Shuichi.

Everything that he had convinced himself started to fade as the man took a step forward. Shuichi's back was to the wall now and he couldn't look away from the man's hungry eyes.

_Help me Yuki._

**(A/N and that was chapter 1…Poor Shuichi, in such a horrible position. He will protect Yuki to the end. But he's the one who needs to be protected. Please review!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**(A/N this is chapter 2 of my new gravitation fic...Special thanks to Captara :) (L) my wonderful beta and friend…and to all you guys who reviewed!!!**

_End of chapter 1:_

_Everything that he had convinced himself started to fade as the man took a step forward. Shuichi's back was to the wall now and he couldn't look away from the man's hungry eyes._

_Help me Yuki._

……………………

The man took another step closer. His eyes shone as they traveled over Shuichi's body. He let out what sounded like a sigh before taking another step forward.

Shuichi was pressed against the wall, wishing that he could disappear. To get away from the man with the lust filled eyes.

Away from this dark room, and the foreboding bed that lay in the corner.

The man now stood only a couple of inches away, so close that Shuichi could feel his rank breath on his face.

He just stood there watching him.

"Please," Shuichi whispered.

That one word was a mistake. That one word snapped the man out of his trance. That one word brought a cruel smile to the man's face.

Shuichi knew he shouldn't say anymore, but he couldn't help but plead with the man.

"You don't have to do this. Let me leave, please?"

In the time it took him to blink the man had moved.

His strong hand pinned Shuichi to the wall by his throat. Shuichi focused all his energy on breathing. The man's hold on his neck was too tight. His lungs were already constricted in panic and he knew that if the man didn't let go soon he would be dead before the man had a chance to do anything to him.

And the sad thing was, Shuichi liked that option better.

As the blackness started to creep over his mind he found he could breathe again.

Shuichi coughed, and gasped. He was glad for the air that flooded into his body.

He could feel hands grabbing him roughly and then he was in the air, landing on the bed.

He tried to sit up but the man was faster. He lay on top of Shuichi and grabbed both of his wrists and held them above his head.

Shuichi tried to get away. He tried to escape the man's body. But he was too weak. His brain was still muddled from the lack of oxygen.

By now he couldn't stop the tears from escaping the confines of his eyes and streaming down his face. The man moved his left hand so it was holding both of Shuichi's wrists.

With his right hand he stroked Shuichi's cheek, and then brushed against his neck. Finally his hand traveled down his chest. The man hesitated at the bottom of Shuichi's shirt, for only a second before he slowly moved his hand up the shirt.

Shuichi bit down hard on his bottom lip to stop from crying out for the man to stop. He could taste the blood from his cut lips and it stung from the salt of his tears.

_Please stop. Please._

He could feel the man's cold hands traveling up his stomach, and then they reached his chest. Shuichi looked at the man and realized his eyes were closed. He seemed to be getting a high just from touching Shuichi.

His hands moved across his chest, leaving no patch of skin untouched. A shudder went through the man's body and Shuichi let the smallest ray of hope come into his mind.

_Maybe this is all he wants. Maybe he won't do more._

But then the man opened his eyes and Shuichi's hope vanished.

The man's eyes had a sharp edge to them. He smiled, glorying in the ecstasy of Shuichi's fear.

The man had this small body in his control. To do with as he pleased.

"Now for some fun."

_Oh Yuki I'm sorry. I can't fight him. I have to protect you. I hope you understand. I'm doing this for you. I can't let Taki hurt you. Even if you think I'm weak or an idiot or if you just don't care, I'm doing this for you. _

Then the man rubbed himself against Shuichi and his hand traveled down to the belt of his pants.

Fear made Shuichi's body go stiff. It made his mind slow down. And the fear allowed his mind to pull him into the darkness.

He was still conscious. At someplace in the back of his mind he was aware of his pants being pulled off and of the man coming into his with such force that any other person would have screamed out in pain. And maybe he did scream. Maybe he cried and begged. But from the dark corner of his mind he watched what was happening like he was just an observer. The darkness pulled him in and held him close.

He didn't really feel the pain until it was all over.

It was like he was descending into his body, all of his senses working once again.

He lay shivering on the bed. He shuddered for he could still feel the man's hands on his body.

His throat was raw from the screaming he couldn't remember doing, and a steady flow of blood trickled from his lip. All from when he had tried not to scream.

The man lay behind him. His arms wrapped around shuichi, caressing him.

His hands once again traveled over shuichi's chest.

Shuichi's tears had dried on his face but were soon washed away by new ones. Sobs shook his body as he tried to remain in control of himself. The man's hand pressed against his throat so that Shuichi was pressed hard onto the man. The man's other hand continued to travel the expanse of his bare chest.

_Yuki. I need you. I need to be in your arms. I need you to tell me it's going to be ok. Please someone tell me its going to be ok._

But just then the door opened and another man stepped inside. The man who "tasted" Shuichi in the car.

"Now it's my turn," he said as the one who had just raped Shuichi stood up and left.

Then it began all over again.

**(A/N hey guys how's it going… I already have the next chapter written so if you want it I better get like 10 reviews lol… neways please review!!! And thank you for reading!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**(A/N hello everyone… here is chapter 3 of my new fic!!! I hope you all are enjoying it so far… MUCH LOVE TO CAPPY!!! A WICKED BETA!!!**

**Thank you:****amith, ****buchouslvr****SexyRyu28****, myCoookie, ****kaza85****Library Drone SAR****suvaki****… and unfortunately it doesn't get much better for Shuichi in the next 2 or 3 chapters… I hope you like it anyways… and even though I only got 7 reviews,**

**Without further a do…. Chapter 3**

……………………………

"_Now it's my turn," he said as the one who had just raped Shuichi stood up and left._

_Then it began all over again._

……………………………

**(Second man's POV)**

"Now it's my turn," I said.

Dakota slowly got up off the bed and closed the door behind him. I looked at the boy sitting shivering on the bed. A smile played on my lips. He looked good enough to eat.

I was too excited to take my time. I almost ran to the bed and pushed the boy back down. I could see the tears on his face and it made the want even stronger. I lay on top of him, a hand on each wrist. Just feeling him struggle underneath me was almost enough to send me over the edge.

I could hear him holding back his cries. The muffled pleas barely escaped his lips. I could see he was biting down on his lip to stop from crying out. Blood dripped down his chin and I licked up his neck, over his chin, and the corner of his small lips.

He tasted good.

Tears began falling from his eyes. He closed them trying not to look at me and bit down harder on his lip. But no matter how hard he tried, I could still hear what he was trying not to say.

He was trying not to beg me to stop.

He was trying not to cry out. He was trying not to let the tears pour down his face.

I licked the corner of his eye; the taste of his tears was so pure that I was reminded of how old he was. How young.

I smiled against his cheek. Young was good.

As I started taking off my clothing he finally opened his eyes.

They were distant, like he was staring off into some far away place.

I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him as close as I could, drinking in the warmth of his skin. I breathed in the salt of his tears.

It didn't really matter if he wasn't fully there. I still had his body, to do with as I pleased. I still got to enjoy the taste of his skin and the feel of his flesh.

He was mine to use.

And then just to make sure he would remember this, I pushed myself into him. Just to hear the sound of his scream. A smile never left my lips, as I abused the boy in ways that would leave him with nightmares for years to come.

……………………….

**SPOV**

The minute he started to touch me I searched my mind for an escape. And it opened up to me once more, pulling me into the comforting darkness. But it wasn't soon enough. The second man came into me and the pain was doubled. I was still recovering from the first. My screams cut off into pitiful sobs. The darkness finally pulled me in, away from what was happening. I was once again an observer of my own pain. I started drifting slowly, through nothing, until it was safe to return to my body again. But as the second man left and the third one stepped in, I knew safe wasn't the word I should have used.

I closed my eyes and pretended that this was just a dream. I pretended that I was having a nightmare that I would wake up from. I pretended that this would all just go away. But then the bed shifted as the other man sat down. He grabbed me by my hair and to my surprise pulled me off of the bed and onto the floor.

My body screamed out in pain and I was left sobbing on the floor, the pain almost too much to bear. I knew the man was still there. I could hear him breathing and I could feel him looking at me. When I finally opened my eyes and looked up to see him, fear didn't allow me to think. It wouldn't let me understand what I was seeing. Finally my mind started working in spite of the fear. A thought formed in my head and I couldn't deny it.

The dim light glinted off the man's knife as he stepped closer.

_I'm going to die._

…………..

**(A/N dun dun dun…. Is Shuichi going to die? Will anyone come to help him? REVIEW AND YOU'LL FIND OUT!!! 10 MORE PLEASE:D)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**(A/N hey guys… thank you so much for the reviews.. because of them im updating right now!!! LOTS OF LOVE TO CAPPY!!!**

**Without further a do… Chapter 4 )**

………………

_The dim light glinted off the man's knife as he stepped closer._

_I'm going to die._

………………

SPOV

_I'm going to die_.

The man stood with his back against the wall now, watching me from a far. But then he shrugged off the wall and moved closer.

_These will be my last moments on earth. _

The man stepped closer and all I could do was crawl backwards until my back was against the wall. Not that the wall would stop him from hurting me. I couldn't stand up and run even if I wanted to.

_Why does everything hurt so much?_

He stepped closer still, testing the sharpness of the blade on his finger. A single drop of blood fell to the floor, and he sucked the rest of the blood off his finger.

_I'm going to die._

He took another step, so slow it was almost painful to watch.

_I want my Yuki. I want to see him one more time. I want to hold him close._

He stepped again. Only a couple more feet.

_Yuki I need you._

And then… he took a final step. A step that brought him right in front of me.

My heart was pounding in my chest and my breath came out in gasps. The word _panic attack_ came to mind but I didn't have time to think about it. The man crouched down in front of me.

He held the knife in his left hand, which hung by his side. He went down to a more comfortable position on his knees. His right hand reached out and I didn't have the strength to flinch away.

_Just let it be over. Just let him do what he came to do. Please just let it be over soon._

His right hand lightly brushed my hair out of my face. His touch was so light I almost didn't feel it. It was like he was afraid he would break me.

_I'm already broken._

I looked up and met his gaze. Hoping…praying that it would be kind and gentle.

Cold eyes starred back at me. But…they were different then the other two men. His eyes weren't full of lust. They were calm, calculating. Watching my every movement. And so, so very cold. They seemed to look right into my soul.

Then his right hand moved up my face, slowly up my jawbone. Along my ear and across my forehead. His hand rested there, like a mother checking her childs temperature. Then his hand moved slowly to the top of my head. In a moment the gentleness of his movements were gone. He roughly grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me closer to him. Our noses were almost touching and his hot breath almost made me gag.

His eyes were still cold. Watching me.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the knife moving towards me. Even though I didn't have the strength I tried to pull away from him. I tried to scream, even though my throat was raw. The knife was a blur as he brought it to my throat,holding it close to my skin. It didn't touch me, but I could feel the cold radiating off of it.

His eyes continued to watch me. Never looking away.

He brought the knife closer, and the cold metal made my shiver.

_I'm so cold. _

A sob escaped my lips and I looked up at the ceiling. Anything so I didn't have to look into his eyes.

His right hand released my hair and gently wiped away a tear that had slid down my cheek.

Then the knife was stuck into the wood of the bed and pushed me onto my stomach on the cold floor. I could feel him straddle my hips. Then he pulled the knife out of the bed and put a cold hand on the back of my neck. He leaned forward and the words he whispered destroyed the smallest ray of hope I had been harbouring.

He said, "I like it when they scream."

He held the knife to the side of my throat and I closed my eyes waiting. But he didn't do what I expected. Instead he pulled my arms behind my back and tied them together with something. Then he wrapped something around my mouth and tied it at the back.

He leaned forwards and whispered again, "I like it when they scream," then he chuckled darkly, "but not yet."

I cried against the gag. I cried out for anyone. I cried out for this all to stop. He grabbed me by my hair again and leaned me up against the wall. Then I remember his foot smashing into my ribs. I fell to the floor and the last thing I remember was seeing a boot coming towards my head.

Then the darkness pulled me in.

**(A/N I could have made it longer but I feel thats a good place to stop muahh hah hah I want you guys to beg for the next chapter muah hah hah loll no the real reason im stopping now is NCIS is coming on and I have to make my sister some chips with salsa and cheese… so PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**(A/N thank u so much guys for reviewing!!! Lots of love to Captara!!!**

**Some people have been saying that I've had the whole rape thing go on for to long… I don't actually think the first chapter counts and neither does this one lol :P)**

**Without further a do**

**Chapter 5**

…………………………………………

**SPOV**

Drifting. Falling through space. Through nothing. Darkness presses in on all sides. Suffocating and comforting at the same time. No room for thoughts. No time to think. No way to stop.

_But I don't want to leave. Can I stay? Can I stay forever? This place is safe. I won't get hurt here. Nothing can touch me._

Something is happening to me. To my body back in the real world. Back in reality.

_Please let me stay. Oh God I don't want to know what's going on. I don't want to know what he's doing. _

……………………

Even in the darkest reaches of his mind the pain reaches him.

He cries out. Out loud and in his head. He buries deeper into himself. Pulling the darkness around him like a blanket. The darkness is his lifeline.

His mind shies away from what is happening, pulling him farther away. Until he can no longer feel the pain. Until he can no longer feel the tears in his eyes.

And so he drifts, wrapped in darkness. Praying that he never has to leave. He is separate from his body. Separate from reality. In his own sanctuary, his haven.

In the darkness he thinks of Yuki. His eyes and his voice. The beautiful sound of his laugh and the soft curve of his lips. He remembers his Yuki. Remembers all they shared. But as he is pulled down deeper and deeper, Yuki starts to slip away. At first he is within reach, but then he fades. His memory becomes dimmer and dimmer until it is completely overcome by the darkness. Until his memory doesn't exist. He comes closer to the surface but as he does, he leaves a part of himself behind. Still buried in the deepest corner of his mind.

He hears the voice then. A voice that seems familiar somehow.

"What the hell have you done? This was a rape not a god damned murder!"

"Hey, he's not dead. The blood was just me having a little fun. He was gone even before I got a chance to start." Disappointment dripped from his voice.

"Ok," the other man again, "I guess I don't get my turn. Oh well, what am I going to do now?"

"Let's just ditch him in an alley somewhere."

"Alright. Untie him and let's go."

Shuichi thought he felt himself being lifted. He thought he felt his hands being untied. He felt something sticky dripping down his chest.

He peered through the darkness and saw the red that covered his chest. His world started to spin and black crept at the edge of his vision. He didn't have to call for it this time. It took him of its own accord.

……………………………….

Everything hurt. Shuichi sat up slowly from where he had been lying on the ground and looked around him. He wasn't wearing a shirt but he had his pants on and a blanket was wrapped around his shoulders. He squeezed his eyes shut as pain rippled through his body.

Leaning against the brick wall of the building, he tried to take deep breathes.

Finally opening his eyes he took in his surroundings. He was in an alley between two buildings. It was late. The sky over head was pitch black with the occasional star splattered across its surface.

His breath escaped in an icy cloud and he pulled the light gray blanket closer around him. He caught a glimpse of his wrists in the dim light of the streetlamp. They were raw and bleeding. His shoulders hurt to move and his head and ribs hurt. He looked down at his chest and couldn't help but gasp at what he saw.

Small cuts covered his chest, some criss-crossing each other and one of them reached from his right nipple down to his belly button. Dried blood covered the cuts.

He stood slowly, using the wall for support and holding the blanket around him with his right hand.

He stepped out of the alley way and saw a giant red cross on top of the building across the street. A hospital.

He ran across, ignoring the pain that shot through his legs. He almost stumbled but he caught himself at the last minute and burst through the door.

…..

Everyone froze at they looked at the crazy man who ran through the door. He was covered in blood and a bruise was forming on the left side of his face.

…..

A doctor ran to him, calling nurses to him. Shuichi collapsed into the doctors arms and then he felt himself being lifted into a stretcher. The doctor started wheeling him into the emergency room.

"Sir, sir stay with me," the doctor called to him.

Shuichi could barely hear him. It took the last of his energy to just get through the hospital door. He could feel himself slipping away. He tried to stay awake; fighting the drossiness that came over him.

"Sir," the doctor said once again, "can you tell me your name?"

A cloud settled over his vision and everything began to fade. But before he was dragged into the darkness he answered the doctor's question.

"I don't know."

Then time stood still.

**A/N dun dun dun… Shuichi has finally gotten away from the evil rapers lol… but he buried himself so much in his mind and the experience was so traumatic that he can't remember who he is? PLEASE REVIEWE IF U WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**(A/N thank you guys so much for all your reviews! Special thanks to Cappy! Lots of love & hugs:) :D….**

**So without further a do**

**Chapter 6**

…………………………

_- __beep beep beep -_

Slowly he opened his eyes.

_- beep beep beep -_

The annoying sound was coming from a machine that he was hooked up too.

_- beep beep beep-_

He pulled himself up slowly and looked around the small room. Pain shot through his chest and he lay back down. Taking deep breathes to calm the pounding pain.

_Where am I? Why does everything hurt so much?_

His eyes wandered around the plain white room, taking in every detail. Hoping that he would find something, anything to give him a clue to what had happened.

It looked like he was in a hospital. He could see nurses and doctors walking by outside his door.

But, why was he here? What had happened to him? The last thing he remembered was waking up in the streets and running into the hospital.

He sat up suddenly, ignoring the pain that shot through his body. He held his head in his hands and tried as hard as he could to remember something. Anything.

But he couldn't.

He looked up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He removed the monitors that were stuck to him chest and ignored the flat line sound that the machine made. Standing up on shaky legs he made his way to the small washroom in the corner. Using the wall for support. He glanced up into the mirror that hung above the small sink. Staring hard at the image that greeted him. He touched his face, watching the reflection do the same.

This was his face.

But the face that stared back at him wasn't familiar. The eyes that met his didn't reveal any secrets.

He stared at the unfamiliar face and saw a single tear roll down its cheek.

Uncontrollable sobs shook his body and he braced himself against the sink. Turning on the water and splashing it in his face. When he finally got control of himself, he turned off the water and looked back up. The reflection that greeted him was the same. But he was still met with the same question; one he didn't know how to answer. A question that he now struggled with, trying to become familiar with the pink haired boy who watched him with a confused and sad expression.

_Who am I?_

He was interrupted by the sound of running footsteps. A doctor and two nurses burst into the room, the nurses wheeling a small table with paddles on them.

"What? Where is he?" the doctor asked looking around. Finally he spotted Shuichi and made his way over to him.

"Are you ok Sir?" The doctor approached cautiously, not sure of the state of mind of the young man.

All Shuichi could manage was a small nod. Then his legs collapsed underneath him and he was barely aware of the doctor catching him, before he was dragged down into darkness.

* * *

Yuki sat up suddenly, gasping for breathe. Sweat dripped down his face and his heart was pounding in his chest. He ran his hand through his hair and glanced beside him. The other half of the bed was empty. 

Well of course it was empty. He had had a deadline and had kicked Shuichi out of the house until he had finished. Even though they had been together for such a long time, Yuki still occasionally had to have some peace and quiet.

Shuichi was probably at Hiro's, staying the night then planning on coming over in the morning.

"_Oh well, I can wait till then to see him,"_ Yuki thought to himself, before turning over and going back to bed.

* * *

Shuichi fell through the darkness, spinning and twisting until he was so disoriented that he decided not to fight it. The darkness was all around him. He welcomed its power on him, the hold it seemed to have. The darkness was the only thing that he found familiar. Somewhere in his mind he knew that it was safe, though he didn't know how he knew. It wasn't going to hurt him. The darkness knew who he was... the only question was whether or not it would let him find out. 

Finally Shuichi moved from his unconsciousness to more of a dream like state.

And indeed he dreamed, if you could call it that.

Images of a forgotten life flew by in his head. Jumbled and flashing so fast that he couldn't see what they were. He gave up, not even bothering to concentrate on the images. But then a new image came to him. Followed by another one and another.

He drank in the memory, the only one he now had.

Not exactly a memory, more like a feeling, and snatches of an image, of another time and place.

He knew deep down that this person would be able to help him. That he held the answers to everything he needed to know.

Shuichi's eyes opened and he sat up slowly.

He knew what he needed to do.

Turning the machine off so no alarm would be raised; he slipped out of the bed and put on the clothes that were on the table. He winced quietly as he made his way down the hallway of the hospital, trying not to draw attention to himself.

He would find that man. Even though he didn't know his name, or even what he really looked like, he knew he had to find him.

His memory, his feeling, was the only real thing he had right now. The only thing he knew was true.

As Shuichi left the hospital, he let his memory guide him.

_Loving eyes, and a gentle touch. As blonde hair blows softly in the wind._

**(A/N well guys here you go! Chapter 6…how did you like it… if you have any thoughts on how the story will turn out… id be really interested to hear them… :P but you wont be able to find out whats really going to happen till the next chapter... teehee... :P...giggles in a corner … PLEASE REVIEW!!!)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**(A/N I am back from the dead... ok I know it was only like 2 weeks since my last update but that's a LONG time to me, I usually update every 4 days at the most...so this chapter is what's happening with Yuki as everything with Shuichi is going on. So please enjoy this chapter! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY Cappy!!!!)**

**And without further a do,**

**Chapter 7**

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* * *

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**Earlier That Morning**

Yuki's eyes sprang open suddenly, fragments of his dream slowly drifting away beyond the grasp of his consciousness. He turned on his side and reached for someone who wasn't there. His hand met an empty space, where the warmth of his lover was missing. He sighed and sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Pinching the bridge of his nose he glanced at the other side of the bed from the corner of his eye. He sighed once again and swung his legs over the side of the bed, getting dressed quicker then he normally would. He blamed it on a sudden burst of morning energy, but deep down he knew that he was just anxious to see Shuichi again.

As he was leaving he threw on his jacket and picked his lighter up from the counter. The small picture was still stuck to the side, perfectly preserved. He had made sure that he hadn't ruined the picture. He rarely used his lighter now anyways. Every time he saw that picture, he was reminded of how Shuichi always begged him to stop smoking. Shuichi had even gone as far as to beg on hands and knees, while making that cute, little puppy dog face.

One thing was for sure, Eiri Yuki was a softy, especially when it came to a certain someone with gorgeous amethyst eyes.

Yuki smirked as he looked at the picture and put the lighter in his pocket. Then he took a step outside into the frosty winter air.

He inhaled deeply, savoring the crisp taste of the air in his throat. Buttoning up his coat he reached for his keys, unlocked his car, and started the short drive to Hiro's house.

As he drove he prepared himself for what was going to happen. He would open the door and Shuichi would glomp him, crying until his eyes were puffy and red. Then he would beg Yuki to let him come back. Yuki would refuse at first, just to hear him beg. Too see those eyes pleading with him. Just to have that small body hanging off of him.

Then he would agree to let Shuichi come home and to commemorate the occasion they would have some "making up time" in the bedroom.

If Shuichi **really** needed to be forgiven, then he wouldn't be able to walk at all the next morning.

Yuki smirked to himself as he pulled into Hiro's drive way. The idea was far too appealing. He should kick Shuichi out more often if this is what would happen.

He was still smiling as he got out of the car and knocked on Hiro's door.

"Coming," Hiro's voice shouted from the other side of the door.

The door opened slowly, revealing a groggy and half asleep Hiro. His hair was up in a messy ponytail and he yawned as he looked up at Yuki with droopy eyes.

"Can I help you?" Hiro mumbled as he yawned again, not bothering to cover it up.

Yuki suddenly had a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Isn't Shuichi here?"

Hiro was instantly awake, no longer looking so groggy.

"What do you mean 'isn't he here'? Why would he be here?" It then seemed to dawn on him. He narrowed his eyes at Yuki and his mouth became a tight, taunt line.

"You kicked him out again didn't you?"

"No, well yes. I had a deadline. But I didn't exactly kick him out he was kind of ok with it."

Hiro walked back into his house, Yuki close behind.

"Just keep telling yourself that," he said over his shoulder.

Yuki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose again, squeezing his eyes shut. This was **not** how he wanted to spend his morning.

"Well if he's not here do you have any idea where he could be?" Yuki leaned against the wall, watching Hiro as he fell back onto the couch.

Hiro seemed to think for a minute before jumping back up and jogging past Yuki to the kitchen. He picked up the phone and punched in a few numbers.

"Hey, Maiko it's me Hiro. Have you seen your brother lately?"

Time seemed to slowly tick by as Yuki and Hiro waited for the answer.

Hiro's eyes opened wide, "Are you sure that's what you heard. He said that, are you sure? Yah. Yah I will. Don't worry. You too. Bye."

Hiro turned around to see an expectant Yuki watching him.

"Maiko said that she was talking to him early last night. He said he was heading over here and was taking the subway. When they were talking, some fans found out who he was and he was chased. They were still on the phone so she heard that much. She said that suddenly it got quiet and Shuichi was thanking someone. Shuichi called that person "Droopy Eyes". He hung up after that saying he was going to Droopy Eyes house. She's tried calling him but his phone is off."

Yuki continued to stare at Hiro.

_Droopy Eyes? Who the hell is Droopy Eyes? And why is Shuichi with him? He wouldn't be cheating with this Droopy Eyes person would he?_

_No their meeting was an accident that much was for sure. But something wasn't right. Shuichi hadn't come back and he never turned off his cell phone. Never._

_What was going on?_

A hand flashed across Yuki's vision and he looked up to see Hiro waving it in front of his face. "Hey anyone home?"

Yuki met his gaze and glared back. He was really not in the mood for this crap.

Hiro wasn't the least bit intimidated by those eyes, and that was what Yuki hated the most about Hiro. He wasn't afraid of him. In other words, all his sarcasm and sharp remarks fell short.

Hiro smirked at Yuki, reinforcing that fact that he wasn't the least bit afraid.

"Just thought you should know that Droopy Eyes goes by the name of Taki Aizawa, lead singer for ASK. One of our top competitors."

Yuki's expression turned from one of agitation to that of worry. "Do you think he could have done something to Shuichi?"

Hiro walked over to the door and slipped his jacket on. He opened the door and looked back at Yuki.

"I wouldn't put it past him. Now I'm really worried. If Shuichi hasn't come back and no one has heard from him since last night, Taki could have done something to him."

And Hiro was out the door. Yuki stood frozen to the spot for a second, before following Hiro out the door.

_If something had happened to Shuichi because I kicked him out, I would never be able to forgive myself._

_God Shu-, where are you?_

_**

* * *

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_**(A/N ok as I was writing this I realized that some people might start thinking Yuki was at bit mean at the beginning of the chapter, what with him talking about all the things he was going to do to Shu... just remember that he has no idea what's going on... IF YOU WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER YOU BETTER REVIEW!!!! teehee)**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**(A/N I realized as I was writing this I should have done it a little differently… Right now as all this is happening Shuichi is in the hospital unconscious, he has yet to wake up. I have pretty much rewind the day and am now telling it from Yuki's perspective… I was thinking I should have done one chapter from Shuichi's point of view and then maybe go back and foreword… but what is done is done… this chapter is from Yuki's (and Tohma's and Hiro's) point of view as they catch up with where we know Shuichi is right now. I hope that this doesn't confuse anyone**

**Hugs and love to my beta Captara,**

**And without further ado**

**Chapter 8**

………………………………………………

They sped down the street, heading towards the NG- Studio. Maybe if luck was on their side they would find Shuichi there. He would be curled up on the couch in the recording studio, his face pure and innocent. Not a bruise or mark on his body. If… luck was with them.

But we all know that luck was not with them.

Hiro's grip on the armrest was almost a match to Yuki's death grip on the steering wheel. The only difference was that Hiro was grabbing the armrest out of fear for his life, while Yuki was gripping it out of anger and worry.

They took a corner to sharply and went up on the sidewalk. A man jumped out of the way of their car, shouting profanities as they continued to speed down the street.

But Yuki didn't notice, nor did he see Hiro's ghostly pale face. All he could think about was getting to N-G and finding Shuichi. He flexed his hands to work out the kinks and pressed harder on the gas peddle, taking another corner too fast.

_Why am I so worried? He just went somewhere other then Hiro's house last night so why am I so worried? He's probably still mad that I kicked him out and is sulking with this Taki person._

_Why do I feel like I'll never see him again?_

_It's Taki. I've never met him before but for some reason his name gives me a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and some voice is telling me to find Shuichi before its too late... Am I over reacting…? I mean come on…too late? To late for what?_

_No I'm not overreacting; I can feel it in my gut… Something is not right. Something is very, very wrong._

Hiro said a prayer of relief and almost passed out in gratitude as N-G Studios came into view. He might actually live to feel firm ground under his feet once again.

They turned into the entrance and Yuki slammed on the brakes just in front of the doors. The car had barely settled when Yuki threw open the door and ran toward the front doors.

_Why are my feet propelling me foreword like their panicked. Why is my heart racing in my chest? Why am I so worried he wont be here. I shouldn't be this scared…what's wrong with me. _

Yuki ignored the receptionist and headed straight for the top floor. He was going to talk to Tohma directly. He would know if Shuichi was anywhere in the building.

Yuki waited impatiently at the elevator, mumbling words that would make a rapper blush. Finally the doors opened and he jumped in, leaning heavily against the wall of the elevator as the doors closed and it made its way to the top floor.

………………………………

Hiro slammed into the elevator door, just missing it.

"Oh no thank you I would rather use the stairs then take the elevator, thanks for the consideration though."

Hiro sighed in exasperation looking up at the numbers on top of the elevator.

3

4

5…. Still at 5… still there.

6

Finally he headed towards the stairs, preparing himself to make the 40 story climb.

_Stupid Yuki._

……………………………

As the elevator travelled up Yuki remained still. His fists were clenched at his side and his eyes starred straight ahead.

He had been living with Shuichi for just over half a year. They had been through fiancé's, and tours, evil record producers in giant pandas **(A/N referring to Rage, who you would know about if you've read the manga… I thought I'd throw her in for fun) **and book dead lines.

They had gotten through Kitazawa and his memory. Amazingly enough no one but their close friends knew about their relationship, thanks to K and his sniper rifle.

Somehow Yuki seemed to have become sensitive to his lover's feelings, supposedly from being around him so much. He could tell when something was bothering him, when he was sad or had something on his mind. One time he was at a book signing and he got this horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach and this wave of sadness crashed over him. He left early and when he got home he found Shuichi on the floor crying his eyes out. He had just gotten a call saying that his grandmother had died. She was the one who always supported him and first got him interested in singing. He didn't stop crying for three days.

The reason Yuki was thinking of this was because of the dream he had had. He could just remember small bits but what he did remember sent shivers up his spine.

_Shuichi was crying out for Yuki to help him. His body looked mangled and he was crying, stretching out his hand to Yuki. Then…darkness started to travel up his legs, slowly swallowing him. Finally it reached his head and Shuichi called out his name one last time before he completely disappeared._

Yuki shook his head to get rid of the memory and took a deep breath, leaning his head against the wall of the elevator.

_Shuichi's fine_, he told himself over and over again. But for some reason, the uneasy feeling in his heart wouldn't go away.

The door finally opened on to the top floor and Yuki stepped out of the elevator, his mind still troubled. His thoughts were telling him that he wouldn't find Shuichi here. Telling him… he would never get Shuichi back.

He pushed all thoughts from his head as he approached the door to Tohma's office.

He entered without knocking and strode across the office to Tohma's desk.

Tohma looked up from some paper work, surprise written on his face. He then got control over his emotions and put on the same smile that he used whether he was angry, sad, or… actually happy.

"To what do I owe this visit?"

Yuki stopped in front of the desk and leaned foreword, bracing his hands on the desk.

"Have you seen Shuichi at all today Tohma? Has he come into work?"

"Shindou? I was just about to call you about that. No I haven't seen him, not since yesterday. I thought that he would be at home with you but since you're here I guess I was wrong."

Tohma noticed the worried look in his brother-in-laws eyes and motioned for him to sit down.

"Something tells me you're worried that something has happened to him."

Yuki just nodded, he was already trying to think of other places that Shuichi could have gone to. Not wanting to think that Taki had actually done something to him.

"Well then," Tohma said, "would it interest you to know that Taki Aizawa called in sick to work today and when he came in yesterday he seemed unusually flustered? He had a fight with his band mates when he came yesterday and now that Shindou is missing I am thinking it might have had something to do with that."

Yuki finally met Tohma's gaze. "You knew that Taki didn't like Shuichi?"

"Yes, actually I had been aware of it for sometime. Ever since Bad Luck performed on that game show Aizawa has had it out for Shindou. More so then usual recently."

Tohma pulled out some paper from his desk and read it. "One of my staff over heard him saying that he was going to get rid of Shindou. Apparently that was what the fight with his band mates was about. He said he was going to 'take care of the problem' and they were worried that he was going to do something drastic."

_Take care of the problem. _The words went through Yuki's head, swirling around not ready to take hold. Those words had too many implications. Those words could mean too many…horrible things. Horrible things for Shuichi.

Yuki swallowed before speaking again. "Do you think he could of…" he couldn't form the words. The idea of never seeing Shuichi again… it was too much.

Tohma looked out the wall sized window behind his desk before turning back and replying. "I wouldn't put it past him."

Yuki's eyes went big for a split second, not allowing him self to think about what that meant.

Tohma watched his brother-in-law and tried to make him feel better. "Don't worry Eiri; I've done business with Taki for almost a year. He's a worthless brute I'll give him that but he's not a killer."

"Where is he now?" Yuki asked. All traces of worry instantly replaced by anger.

"He should be at home; I'll give you his address." Tohma picked up one of the paper off his desk and handed it to Yuki. Apparently he had been worrying over Taki already; fore the paper was close at hand.

Yuki turned to leave, the paper already crumbled in the death grip of his fists.

"Eiri?" Tohma called. Yuki stopped his hand already on the knob of the door.

"Be careful."

Yuki shot an infuriated glare over his shoulder. "If I find him and he has done something to Shuichi. He's the one that you should be worrying about."

And then he was gone, the door slammed behind him.

Tohma picked up his phone and dialled a number.

"It's me. Are you still following Aizawa like I told you to? The Ramen Shop? Yes I got it. Keep your distance; I'll deal with this myself."

He leaned back in his chair. Fingers touching as he thought of what he was going to do. If this had happened two or three months ago he wouldn't have done anything, but Tohma had already accepted Shuichi as part of Yuki's life. If Taki had done something to Shuichi it would negatively affect Eiri and no one was allowed to hurt Eiri.

He stood up and grabbed his coat, planning on taking the private elevator in the next room over so that he could avoid Yuki. He would deal with this, and hopefully… Shuichi would be found unharmed.

……………………………………………………………………………….

Yuki entered the elevator, letting his anger propel him, trying to make it suppress everything else he was feeling right now.

He remembered the dream he had had and then tried to forget it. Praying with all his being that the darkness he had seen. Darkness that had swallowed up Shuichi…that had drowned him. Praying that the darkness hadn't been death.

The elevator started the long trip back to the 1st floor and Yuki spent that time thinking about what he would do to Taki when he found him.

………………………………………………………………………………..

The door to the stairs opened. Seconds ticked by. Finally a body collapsed onto the ground.

The only sound was Hiro's heat beat pounding in his ear and his breathing. 40 floors. He had just run up 40 flights of stairs.

Well…actually… he only managed to run up 14 flights of stairs. Then he jogged up 6, walked up 11 and finally dragged his dead weight miserable self up the last 9 floors. And here he was. He turned his head and started crying. He couldn't help it he started crying. Why was he crying you may ask? Simple. The elevator numbers were slowly counting down as it now made its way back to the 1st floor.

If anyone had walked down the hallway at that moment they would have seen Hiro curled up in the fetal position, sucking his thumb and rocking himself. Trying to comfort him self knowing that he would once again have to make the perilous journey. The dreadful journey…down… 40 flights of stairs.

He stopped suddenly as the President left his office and headed down the hallway to the private elevator in the next room over.

Instantly he was on his feet, his misery and exhaustion forgotten. If it was the last think he did, he would get on that elevator.

He stood in a superman pose, his hands on his waist and his face pointing to the ceiling as he began to laugh hysterically (which is something that happens when you over exert yourself up 40 flights of stairs without water or the proper training.)

Unfortunately for him, as he stood there thinking about how lucky his break was. The door to Tohma's elevator opened… and closed. Making the journey to the 1st floor without him.

And so as we leave Hiro to rejoin Yuki in his search for Taki Aizawa, it is with sadness that we leave him once again… on the floor…crying for his mother. All will to live now gone.

But don't worry; Hiro will rejoin us sometime in the near future.

………………………………………………………………………….

The door opened on the 1st floor and Yuki was out and running to his car. The ride had done nothing to relieve his anxiety, actually just the opposite. The longer he stood there thinking about all the horrible things that could have happened to Shuichi. The longer he thought about Taki hurting Shuichi. The angrier he got.

So by the time Yuki arrived at the 1st floor he was seeing red.

He had memorized the street address and was already speeding down the street. Today was indeed a dangerous day to be on the roads… and an even more dangerous day to be alive… if your name was Taki Aizawa.

…………………………………………………………………..

Tohma got into his car and slowly peeled out of the parking lot. His driving was the exact opposite of his beloved brother-in-law. He drove slowly, minding the traffic laws and speed limit. He didn't almost hit a boy scout (unlike Yuki), or smash into a street vendor (once again unlike Yuki). Instead he slowly cruised down the streets heading towards where he knew Taki would be.

He wore the same smile he always wore. The one that made people think he was the devil reincarnated even though it was supposedly a happy smile. The smile that he skilfully worked on until no one but his wife could figure out what emotion he was trying to hide. At the moment that emotion was agitation.

He really didn't feel like killing today.

……………………………………………………………………..

Yuki pulled in to the driveway of Taki Aizawa's house. He was already forgetting the poor boy scout helping the old lady across the street. And not to mention the man selling fruit that was now being eaten by the birds as it lay on the side of the street. All he could think about was 'Droopy Eyes' and what he would do to him.

He stormed up the walkway and banged on the door. He saw movement behind the curtain and the door swung open… Revealing someone… who wasn't Taki Aizawa. Not that Yuki knew what he looked like anyways.

………………………………………………………………….

Tohma arrived at The Ramen Shop, just as Taki was leaving. He had his noodles in hand and was making his way across the street. Unfortunately for him…right in front of Tohma's car.

Tohma hit the gas.

He had found out more then he had told Yuki. He knew that Taki had done something to Shuichi, and he knew he had not been alone in it. With that he also knew that killing Taki wouldn't be that horrible. Because there was someone else that he could get the necessary information from. His life would not be a loss.

Taki only had enough time to look up as Tohma's car smashed into him, going 80 m/h.

And Tohma kept driving; the only thing he was worrying about was the damage that his car would have sustained. (Kind of creepy how easy doing these kind of things are for him when Yuki is concerned isn't it).

But… either unfortunately or fortunately (depending on if your Taki or Tohma), the Ramen Shop owner saw the accident and called an ambulance. As he watched Taki being taken away he shook his head with sad eyes as he watched the poor, spilt… and wasted… ramen lying on the ground… Forgotten.

…………………………………………………………………..

The door opened and Yuki already had the person up against the inside wall by his throat.

"Where is Shuichi, Aizawa?!"

"I'm… I'm not… (Gasp)…I'm not… Taki…"

Yuki dropped him then and watched as the man gulped in the air.

"If you're not Taki who are you and where is he?"

"My name… my name is Dakota…I don't know where he is… I don't even know him that well… he hired me and my friends last night and I came here to get our money."

Yuki crouched down and grabbed the man by the front of his shirt. "Hired you for what?"

"He wanted us to rape this kid for him. You know just to teach him a lesson he said. But Marcus…. Fuckin' Marcus got a little carried away."

Yuki's grip tighten on the man and fury burned in his eyes making the man flinch away from the heat of his eyes. "What do you mean carried away?" He had to force the words out through clenched teeth.

"He messed the kid up a bit too much is all. The kid passed out and then Taki started to freak thinking we had killed him… But we didn't," Dakota threw in seeing the murderous look Yuki was giving him.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know I swear! I left, man I just left. I wasn't going to go away for almost killing someone. Marcus and Taki took him to an alley somewhere and ditched him. That's all I know I swear."

Yuki didn't let go on the man as he slowly stood up. What the man had just said…the horrible things he just said. _Shuichi had been gang raped…and then he passed out…and…… _

"Thanks for your help," Yuki said.

He let go of the man. Then turned.

The man breathed a sigh of relief thinking he was going to get away unharmed.

But then Yuki turned back around and punched him in the face, then the stomach. Once he was one the ground he even kicked him a couple times for good measure.

"You son of a bitch," he said as he spat at the man who lay moaning on the floor.

The he walked away, his anger building. When he found Taki Aizawa he would make him hope he was dead.

Little did Yuki know…at that exact moment Taki was dead……

But...

The paramedics got his heart started once again as they neared the hospital.

…………………………………………………………………..

Now we will go back to Hiro, who, after finally getting the blood pumping normally back to his head, has calmed down enough to get his senses back. He gets up and walks to Tohma's office, hoping to find a clue as to where Taki is… not knowing (since he has just spent the last...ohh about 20 minutes on the floor) that Taki has already been found and 'taken care of.'

As he enters the office he sees something heading towards the window. He goes closer and squints as the sun gets into his eyes. By the time he realizes what it is its too late. The glass shatters and he's pinned on the desk, a dazed K lying on top of him.

K looks around at the shattered glass and then down at Hiro. "This will be our little secret ok?"

Having the wind knocked out of him, all Hiro can do is nod his head.

"Good," K replies as he gets off of Hiro and helps him to his feet.

"What are you doing here?" Hiro asks K as the blond haired man pulls out his phone, just as it begins to ring.

"K here. Yes. I would have preferred to have shot him sir. Yes, I understand. North Waters hospital, yes. Should I check the patient records sir? Yes. Ok. Alright. I'll keep you posted. Bye."

K looked up at Hiro and smiled, "so where were we?"

"I asked what you were doing here."

"Oh, right right. Well I came to get the presidents insurance policy for his car, seeing as he 'accidentally' hit Taki Aizawa as he was leisurely driving through town."

Hiro was amazed at how K could make an intentional hit and run sound so innocent.

"One more second," K said as he dialled a number on his phone.

"Yes hello, I was wondering if you happened to have a young man checked in at your hospital. Pink hair, slender, 19 years old… Oh really last night he did. Is he still there? He just regained consciousness? That's wonderful. Yes someone will be there soon to get him. Thank you so much. Good bye."

"YOU FOUND SHUICHI!" Hiro couldn't contain his excitement.

"Yes I just called the hospital that is closest to where Aizawa lives. Apparently he came in very late last night." K had a troubled look on his face but Hiro didn't notice. He had already grabbed his phone and was calling Yuki.

(Right now Yuki is just leaving Taki's house.)

PHONE CALL:

**Yuki:** Hello?

**Hiro:** Yuki it's me Hiro I know where Shuichi is! He's at the North Waters hospital.

**Yuki:** I'm near there, meet me there ok. (About to hang up)

**Hiro:** Wait, you should know that…well… (Deep breathe) Tohma hit Droopy Eyes with his car so he is also on his way to the hospital. It wouldn't be the best thing is you tried to kill a man who is in critical condition.

**Yuki:** (impatient) Fine then I'll kill him when he gets out of the hospital.

(Murmured voices: K is telling Hiro that Shuichi has amnesia)

**Hiro:** (away from the phone) WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE CAN'T REMEMBER WHO HE IS!

**Yuki:** (has now stopped walking and is standing stock still in the middle of the driveway)

What did you say?

**Hiro:** (exhales) Shuichi went into the hospital yesterday…not knowing who he was. He just woke up, and he still doesn't know who he is or what happened to him."

**Yuki**: (silence)

**Hiro**: Yuki?

**Yuki**: Meet me at the hospital.

PHONE CALL ENDED

Hiro hung up his phone and watched wide eyed as K strapped a jet pack to his back (don't ask me where he got it from)

"What are you-" Hiro couldn't finish his sentence as K had just grabbed Hiro by his shoulder and turned him around in front of him. Hiro's back was to K and K was strapping him into the jet pack along with him.

Finally Hiro was able to form a coherent thought. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

K blinked back in surprise like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What do you think I'm doing? We have to get to the hospital some how."

Then K jumped.

And…

they fell…

About 20 stories…

Before the jet pack started working.

……………………………………………………………………………

And now… Yuki, Tohma, Taki, Hiro and K are all headed to the hospital. But what they find when they get there is not what they expect.

…………………………………………………………………………….

**(A/N well there is chapter 8… I made it especially long for 2 reasons...1 as a sort of apology for not updating sooner…and 2… so that the timeline has finally caught up and I can continue normally… THIS CHAPTER IS OFFICALLY 9 PAGES!!!...I will finish the next chapter very very soon so don't worry…one last thing… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!! Ok I'm done lol… thank you for reading!)**


	9. Chapter 9

SPOV

**Chapter 9**

**A/N Hey guys hows it going... much love to Cappy :)**

**Without further ado!**

**Chapter 9 **

……………………………….

SPOV

Shuichi stood at the door of the hospital, wearing his clothing, having changed out of the hospital gown before he had left his room. He stood there and watched as they brought a man in on a stretcher. The man was in critical condition, having just been hit by a car.

Shuichi paused at the door; the man's face seemed to stir something in his memories. He looked familiar…so familiar. But not the good kind of familiar. The man's face made his stomach knot and his heart beat quicken. In the confusion of paramedics and doctors running to help the man, Shuichi slipped out the door.

He walked slowly down the street hunched over slightly as the pain in his ribs stabbed at him with each step. He didn't think about where he was going. He just let his feet carry him, and as he rounded the corner, a black Mercedes sped down the street, coming from the other direction.

………………………………………………….

YPOV

Yuki slammed on the brakes and jumped out of his car before it had stopped moving. It took all his self control not to kill Taki then and there. Instead he ran through the doors and waited, impatiently, until the nurse could come back,

Finally she sat down and before she could get a word out Yuki said, "I'm looking for a young man. 19, pink hair, would have come in sometime last night."

"Sounds familiar, poor kid. He was practically dead when he came in here. You should talk to Dr. Takuto; he was the one who treated him."

"Where is he?"

"He should be doing his rounds and the other doctors rounds also since they are all in the surgery room with that young man who was hit by that car," she sighed after she said it, looking extremely bored. She blew a bubble and went cross eyed as it popped on her nose.

"Well can you call him for me!? Tell him it's urgent!"

The look she gave him almost set him off, over the desk. He could imagine his hands around her neck as he clutched his hands at his side.

The look she gave him was one of a teenager being asked to wake up at 7 on a Saturday morning to dress up as a giant bunny and jump around the block. Her look said, your joking right, like I would actually do that for you. Go away.

Giving the nurse one of his coldest looks Yuki sat down in one of the hard, red chairs in the waiting room. Contemplating whether he should have let his anger get the better of him, as the minutes slowly ticked by, he realized that it would have been a very good idea.

……………………………………………………

"What's with all the commotion down there?" Hiro screamed as he tried to be heard over the roaring of the wind in his ears.

K sighed, blaming Hiro denseness on the air pressure.

"What part of Tohma hitting Taki with his car don't you understand?"

"….oh. Well… I thought it was a good question."

K shook his head in amusement as they headed for a…"landing" on the roof of the hospital. That is… if K was able to steer them onto the roof.

…………………………………………………………

Just like before we can compare Yuki and Tohma's driving. Tohma, unlike Yuki, pulled up to the hospital slowly, taking the time to parallel park and fix his hat in the mirror. He really didn't feel the need to rush or fuss. He felt like his job was already done and all that was left was to sit back and watch how it played out.

…………………………………………………………….

"Brace yourself to land." K shouted to Hiro as the ground started to race towards them.

"Hey K?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we're going to make it to the roof."

"And why's that."

K looked up from Hiro and saw the reason. Somehow he had failed to notice that his aim was off, and they were about to collide with the hospital wall."

"Abort! About face and redirect!" K screamed as he pulled himself and Hiro away from the wall at the last minute. They missed the wall thankfully, but the jet pack on the other hand did hit the wall. It sputtered for a few seconds before stopping all together.

"AHHHHHHHH!" K and Hiro screamed in unison as they plummeted towards the ground. But luckily, something was about to break their fall.

…………………………………………………………….

Tohma was about to walk through the front doors of the hospital when a shadow fell across him.

And then something fell on him. Well… two something's and a jet pack to be more precise.

…………………………………………………………..

"Ow!" Hiro called from underneath K, "remind me never to do that again."

K groaned and tried to roll over, then remembered he was still attached to Hiro. He undid the buckles and then tried to roll over again. Nothing seemed broken.

"You ok there Hiro?"

"Lets just say it's a good thing we crashed into a hospital," he moaned as he tried to sit up. Like K nothing seemed broken, but his left elbow was killing him, like he smashed it on something really hard.

"You mean almost crashed, I pulled us away at the last minute."

"Then what did we hit."

A loud groan form underneath both of them made them look down.

Tohma lay there unconscious, a huge bump swelling on his head. Hiro went red as he looked down at the bruise already forming on his elbow.

K was busy looking at his boss' scorched suit, which had suffered some damage from the smoking jet pack.

Hiro and K's eyes met.

"Let's not tell him." K and Hiro jumped up at the same time and started backing away.

"Yes let's never speak of this again."

Then they were both running through the hospital doors, not wanting to be there when Tohma finally did wake up.

……………………………………………………

Yuki looked up as Hiro and K burst through the hospital doors. They were both extremely pale and wide eyed, and they kept glancing over their shoulders as if the devil was about to come and take their souls.

As they sat down Yuki filled them in on why he was waiting and what was happening with Taki.

"Well screw that!" K exclaimed as he pulled out a machine gun from his pants (yes I said his pants).

Blasting a couple rounds in the ceiling, and while ignoring the cries of pain that followed, K stalked over to the nurse and pointed the machine gun at her.

"My friends and I would like to see Dr.Takuto." The nurse sat there stunned, as she starred at the barrel that was an inch from her nose.

"Right now!" K said for extra emphasis.

With trembling fingers the nurse picked up her phone.

"Yes, could you have Dr.Takuto come down to the front for me? Thank you."

K reached out and patted her on the head with the gun, accidentally firing a shot while in the process. "See that wasn't so hard now was it."

The nurse, being unable to take anymore, fainted.

Yuki and Hiro had now joined K at the desk and it wasn't long before a man in a white coat appeared.

"Are you the doctor that treated Shuichi?" Hiro asked.

"I'm sorry who?"

Yuki stepped forward, pushing Hiro out of the way. "Young man with pink hair who came in last night."

"Oh yes. So you are the people who called looking for him."

They all nodded.

The doctor turned and started to walk down the hallway, motioning for them to follow him.

"Shuichi has suffered a lot of damage, not just physically but mentally as well. When he came in we did a thorough examination of his body and found that he had been raped multiple times. There were also marks on his wrists and ankles where he seems to have been bound by either rope or wire. Two ribs are fractured from being kicked and he has twenty-three stitches on his chest from a cut received from some kind of serrated object, I suspect a pocket knife. He also has smaller cuts over his chest and bruises covering his body, along with a small concussion."

"If that was all he would be fine, stay here a few days with plenty of rest. But Shuichi has appeared to have lost his memory."

They had reached an elevator and they all got in. The doctor pushed the button for the 5th floor.

"Could his amnesia have been caused by the concussion?" Hiro asked. Yuki at the moment seemed to be at a lost for words after hearing the extent of Shuichi's injuries.

"In any other case I would say yes but I believe that this one is different. You friend has suffered immense emotionally damage. He went through an ordeal that nobody should ever have to go through."

"Well can't you just treat his amnesia?" Yuki finally spoke, "give him some medicine or something?"

"I'm afraid it's not that easy. You see he caused the amnesia, he made himself forget." The elevator door opened and they all stepped out.

"Your friend is trying to suppress his memories; he doesn't want to face what happened. The only thing that can help him is for you all to help him through this. He needs to know that it's ok, and that no matter what has happened to him you will all be there for him. Help him with the small things, like his name and his family, his favourite food, stuff like that. Then try to work your way to what happened to him. The memories will come back to him you just can't-."

The doctor stopped in the door way of a room. Then he walked quickly down the hall to a nurse who was doing her rounds. Hiro and K ran to him, sensing that something was wrong. But Yuki remained standing in the door way, unable to pull his gaze from the empty bed and discarded hospital robe. He could imagine Shuichi wearing it, standing in front of the bathroom mirror. Looking at the marks that covered his body and not knowing where they came from. Feeling alone and scarred, not knowing who he was, or if there was anyone out there who was looking for him.

Yuki snapped out of his stunned state and ran for the stairs. He was down all five flights of stairs before anyone noticed he was gone.

When he reached the ground floor he ran for the doors and burst out into the street.

Looking both ways, running through the crowd, screaming the entire time.

"Shuichi!

Yuki saw a pink head bobbing just ahead.

"Shuichi?" He reached the boy and spun him around. The disappointment was so severe it was like a hot knife slicing through his chest.

It wasn't Shuichi. Just a fan who had dyed his hair.

Then he stopped, his knees were too weak to hold him up and he found he was falling to the ground. Tears started to prickle at the back of his eyes, but he held them in.

"Eiri is that you?" Tohma called, having just awoken.

He carefully approached him and crouched down to his level. Gently reaching out and pulling him up by his shoulders.

"It's ok Eiri we'll find him."

All he could do was nod, and allow Tohma to lead him back into the hospital; the only thing he was thinking about was his Shuichi. He could picture the pink haired singer in his minds eye, smiling like a fool, with such an innocent expression. With such honest eyes. What would Shuichi be like when Yuki found him? Would he ever remember who he was? Would he remember him?

……………………………………….

Shuichi stopped suddenly as he turned another corner. He could have sworn that he heard a familiar voice calling a name that he couldn't quite make out. The name and voice seemed familiar so he stopped a moment, trying to see if he could hear the voice again. He shook his head and continued walking, thinking that it was all in his head.

Shuichi stumbled down the street, gripping his chest, as the stitches started to tug and fresh blood started to drip.

He winced with each step, hoping, that he would find the one he remembered, before his body shut down along with his mind. Before he couldn't move anymore, and he lay down…never to awaken again.

…………………………………….

Yuki and Tohma rejoined Hiro, K and the doctor in the front lobby.

"Listen all of you this is very important. We have to find Shuichi as soon as possible, we don't have much time." The doctor addressed them all.

"Why the urgency?" K asked.

"As I've already told you he has suffered a lot of damage. What I forgot to mention was that along with the damage on the outside of his body, there is also some damage within. He has suffered some internal bleeding and if he's not found and properly treated very soon, then he will die."

Yuki felt a single tear slid down his cheek and he wiped it off before anyone could see. Turning he headed for the door, not looking back. He was going to find Shuichi, and then once Shuichi was safe and sound, he was going to find every single one of those bastards who hurt him, and kill them with his bare hands.

………………………………………..

**(A/N so there is chapter 9… If u think Yuki is too emotional that's fine, but I know that he isn't the heartless bastard that he makes himself out to be… **

**Let me try to explain why it has taken so long for updates…and these aren't excuses just the facts.**

**Monday-Thursday I have musical practice after school till 5**

**Tuesday I also volunteer at Sparks (like girl guides but for 6 year olds)**

**Thursday I baby-sit**

**Saturday I have a bowling league and I try to go to life teen**

**Sunday my mom wants us to start going to church again**

**And then there's homework and my bf and omg… I will try writing a little more every night before I go to bed to try and update sooner**

**NEWAYS please please review! I expect 10 reviews if u want to next chapter hahaha :P)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**(A/N well hello everybody! How's it going :)**** once again I'm sorry it's taken me soo long. Much thanks to Captara :P. This chapter is more focused on whats going through Yuki's head as this is all happening.**

**Without further ado,**

**Chapter 10**

* * *

Shuichi slowly made his way down alley after alley way. Not knowing where he was going, but somehow knowing where he was going at the same time. He leaned against the wall of the alley as he tried to catch his breath. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, each beat sending a stab of pain through his body. Shifting him self so he had his back to the wall, the sudden pain was over whelming.

Shuichi collapsed onto his knees, clutching his chest as the stitches pulled even more on his cut. Each ragged breath caused his ribs to scream in pain. The pain killer's effects had slowly been dwindling over the last hour, and finally they had stopped having effect all together. The pain was fresh and as sharp as when he had first gotten hurt.

It was at that point that Shuichi started to see red. He collapsed onto his stomach and lay there as the world began to spin, then went dark all together.

* * *

Yuki swerved around a corner, continuing his break neck speed as he sped down the street. He scanned the faces of everyone he passed, looking for a familiar sight. Waiting for a tuff of pink hair to bob out of the crowd.

It had been just over an hour since Shuichi had left the hospital, and since the moment the doctor told him that Shuichi could die, he had been in his car racing through the city, leaving no street unchecked.

He almost went to their apartment, just to check to see if he had made it home.

Half way there he turned back around, cursing at himself for wasting time. Shuichi wouldn't remember where they lived, and besides… he was too injured to make it that far.

He was bleeding too much… he had too many things broken… he had been hurt…too badly.

"_He has suffered some internal bleeding."_

No one would ever do that to Shuichi. It didn't happen, not to Shu… the doctor made a mistake.

"_If he's not found and properly treated very soon, then he will die."_

He's going to be fine damn it!

"_The poor boy was raped repeatedly, and beaten."_

No!

Yuki pulled over to the side of the road. His hands were shaking and he tucked them into his stomach to make them stop.

"_He was raped multiple times."_

No…not Shu…not my Shu.

Yuki closed his eyes and leaned his head against the steering wheel, taking deep breathes to try and push off the sudden wave of emotions.

_Shuichi burst through the door to Yuki's office, his face glowed with happiness and his eyes sparkled as he ran in and jumped on Yuki's lap._

_His warmth warmed Yuki, who had been sitting there for three hours. _

_Shuichi nuzzled Yuki's neck, placing a small kiss on his collarbone. _

_He looked up, the soft light caught in his pink hair making it shine. He smiled… his smile. A smile that belonged to no one else but him. A smile that took no effort that appeared on his face as naturally as breathing. A smile that was full of his energy and love. A soft smile. Shuichi's smile._

_How Yuki had wanted to kiss that smile. To hold that warmth close to him and breath in the sweet scent of strawberries. But no… today he couldn't. But oh how he wanted to…but…not today._

_Instead of drawing him closer he pushed him away. He glared up at those innocent eyes and pushed him away._

"_I have work I can't have you here tonight."_

_The boys face became stunned, as he tried to hide the hurt. But the hurt shone in his eyes, eyes that could never lie, that bore all his emotions for the world to see. That showed what was in his heart and soul._

_He backed away slowly, and nodded._

_Just like that, he nodded._

_Turning quickly he went into their bedroom and grabbed some clothes. He put them all into a duffel bag, and Yuki just stood and watched. He wanted to tell him to stay but bit the words back. He needed to finish his work. He would make it up to Shuichi later. He would._

_Shuichi walked to the door, and looked over his shoulder. His eyes were sad but he smiled a soft smile. _

_Yuki stayed at the door to his study, afraid that if he walked him out he wouldn't be able to let him leave._

_Hand on the door knob, Shuichi glanced back one last time. The door opened and he stepped out, his words hanging in the air._

"_I love you Yuki."_

_The door closed, and everything went black._

_He didn't have time to be confused because suddenly screaming surrounded him._

_He knew that voice but he didn't want to see who it belonged to. He didn't want it to be real._

"_Stop it please. Leave me alone."_

_Yuki could hear him crying, crying and begging. Begging for them to stop, begging to go home._

"_Please…. Please let me go…please. Yuki, Yuki help me."_

_And now Yuki could see him, he could see Shuichi._

_He was lying on the ground, his shirt off and his chest bleeding, tears streamed down his cheeks as he reached out to Yuki. Begging him to help him._

"_Yuki, please help me Yuki. Please Yuki please."_

_Then black hands reached out of the darkness behind Shuichi, pulling him in._

"_No please no, leave me alone! Yuki help me. Yuki!"_

_And he was running, running forward to help Shuichi. He reached out and Shuichi reached out._

_Their fingers were so close that Yuki could feel the warmth coming off of them._

"_Shuichi grab my hand."_

_He reached as far as he could; the black hands were running over his chest and trying to pull him back. Voices were laughing at them as they struggled to reach each other._

_Yuki looked into Shuichi's eyes. He saw the fear and the tears that were still falling. Those eyes…stayed in his mind, as Shuichi was pulled into the darkness. _

_Then once again, the room was filled with his screams._

* * *

Yuki jumped up so fast he hit his head on the roof of his car.

His vision was blurred and it took him a moment to realize that he was crying. He roughly tried to brush the tears away but they kept coming, streaming down his cheek like they would never stop.

Yuki gulped as he took ragged breaths through the tears. Leaning his head against the head rest he squeezed his eyes closed, trying desperately to get the images out of his head. But they wouldn't go away.

He pushed both palms of his hands against his temple in an attempt to drive them out but still it didn't work.

He could still see everything, so clearly.

Shuichi beaten and bloody, screaming for him to help him. And he couldn't, he couldn't do anything. Yuki had been sleeping in his bed when Shuichi was getting raped and he hadn't been able to stop it from happening.

"_That's not true," _A voice in his head said, "_if you had let him stay, this would never have happened."_

"_Shuichi would never have been hurt. He would never have had to suffer like you did. Worse…then you did."_

"It's all my fault." Yuki leaned his head into his hands, as he gave up trying to stop the tears from coming. He needed to get this all out so he would be able to concentrate on finding Shuichi.

After a couple of minutes Yuki once again roughly rubbed his face and took a shaky breath.

He put his hands on the wheel and closed his eyes one last time. The image that greeted him was that of the last time he had seen Shuichi. As he left the apartment, closing the door behind him. The last thing Shuichi said was, "I love you Yuki."

"Oh God Shu I'm so sorry."

He peeled away from the curb before he could start crying again. He needed to concentrate, he had to find Shuichi. With the guilt clawing at his stomach, he made the drive to the hospital so he could check in with everyone else.

* * *

A cold breeze blew, ruffling Shuichi's clothing. He lifted his head, trying to focus on what was around him. The first thing he saw was a black Mercedes at the end of the alley way. There was a man sitting it the car but Shuichi didn't get a good look at him because at that moment he drove away.

Slowly pulling himself up, Shuichi winced as every movement brought a fresh stab of pain. He closed his eyes and tried to remember. He tried to find that strand of memory that was so special to him, that he hadn't forgotten it completely. The memory that would help him find the man.

He slowly staggered out of the alley way, walking as if by instinct.

_The wind blows, it's a cold night. A white dove flies through the air, bringing me to you._

* * *

**(A/N Well there is Chapter 10, how do you guys like the story so far, I would like 10 reviews please!! But if I don't get them that's ok I will still love you guys :)**** Lol :P neways please review and I will see you all again in Chapter 11 )**


	11. Chapter 11

Yuki screeched into the hospital lot

**Chapter 11**

A/N hello everyone… I am very proud of this chapter lol and I would like to let you know that this is the second last chapter… after that I will decide wheather or not I make a sequel.. neways much MUCH, love to Cappy who Beta'd this thing lol and to all of you I hope you enjoy this chapter

And without further ado

Chapter 11

……………………………………………………………….

Yuki screeched into the hospital parking lot. He wasn't sure what to do with his unleashed emotions. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried, it had been years. Only Shuichi could bring out the human side in him. If he couldn't find him…No none of that now…just focus and stop being so weak!

Tohma was leaning against the side of the building seeming at ease, but Yuki knew that Tohma was waiting for him. That he was worried.

Yuki put his best monotone face on as he got out of the car and walked past his brother in law. He wouldn't give Tohma the satisfaction of being right about Yuki's emotional state. He wasn't a sixteen year old who needed protection and comforting anymore. He was stronger than that…he had to be.

As Yuki walked through the hospital doors he searched the faces of Hiro and K. By their saddened expressions it was clear that no one had found anything. Yuki was prepared for the disappointment, but what he wasn't prepared for was how much it hurt. Taking a deep breathe he made his steps bigger, wanting to get the bad news over with.

Hiro met Yuki's gaze and held it. His eyes were glassy, like he was trying to hold back tears. Something clenched in the pit of Yuki's stomach, he could tell the bad news he had expected was about to become a lot worse.

"We couldn't find him," K said, looking at Hiro. Hiro cleared his throat and stepped forward a little.

"We found…cough…we found a blood trail… in one of the alleys outside the hospital. The doctor, he said that…with all that blood, his cut must have reopened and…"

Tears started flowing down Hiro's face and he turned away. His body shook with silent sobs and K put a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed before turning to Yuki.

"The doctor said that with that much blood loss, and the more he's going to lose with his cut open. He's either already dead… or he will be very soon."

"I need some air," Hiro turned and walked out of the hospital. K looked like he wanted to follow him but instead he hung back. Tohma had just walked further into the room, making his presence known.

"Eiri, are you alright?" The question was so absurd that Yuki actually laughed. But his voice cracked half way through and then room started to get smaller.

The pressure in his chest became almost painful, as if an invisible hand had started squeezing his heart. K's bright yellow hair lost its shine and started turning grey. Everything around him started turning grey.

"Eiri?" Tohma's voice seemed to come from very far away. Then everything started to spin and finally, it all went black.

_Shuichi is dead._

………………………………………………………………………….

The wind was sharp and cold as it blew and tormented his small body. Shuichi could no longer feel the pain, either from the cold or because his body was starting to shut down.

_No I have to keep going. I'm almost there. It's so close, I know I'm close. Just a little further, please doesn't let me down. _

And the wind blew, and his knees buckled, sending him face down into a puddle.

_I'm so tired. I'll just sleep for a while. Just so I can get my strength back. Then I'll keep going. Just a little rest._

And he closed his eyes, and the wind kept blowing, and his stomach grew red from his blood.

……………………………………………………………………………..

"_Shuichi where are you!" Yuki screamed into the darkness. _

"_Shuichi!"_

"_Yuki." It was like a whisper carried through time._

_And then Shuichi was standing there in front of him. "It's you!" he said as tears formed in his eyes. "You're the one I remember. You're the one I've been looking for."_

_And then the darkness surrounded them and pulled Shuichi away._

"_Shuichi!"_

_It's cold, so very cold. Shuichi lies in his own blood. His pale face holds amethyst eyes. Eyes that stare at him but that cannot see._

"_No Shuichi!"_

_Everything went black._

…………………………………………………………………………………………

_BEEP BEEP BEEP_

"I think he's waking up."

Yuki opened his eyes and was greeted by his brother-in-law starring down at him.

"You're going to be alright Eiri. The doctor said it was just stress, and shock."

"What time is it?" Yuki was shocked to see that it was dark outside.

"Late, you've been out for a long time. They said they'd discharge you once you woke up, so I'm going to take you home."

Then Tohma left, leaving behind a very confused Yuki.

Yuki glanced outside the window and was instantly hit with a sharp pain in his chest. Hours had passed. Hours he could have spent looking for Shuichi. Wasted.

Tohma wheeled him out of the hospital and helped him into his car. Yuki didn't say a word, he was too preoccupied with his own thoughts.

"K and Hiro are still searching."

All he could do was nod. He should be helping them.

Once at the apartment Tohma helped Yuki lay down in his bed.

"I don't want you leaving here until the morning. There's nothing you can do to help until you have had enough rest. I want you to promise me you won't leave your house today."

"I promise," Yuki answered.

And then he left, to go back to his family and his home. He wouldn't lose a wink of sleep that night.

The seconds ticked by. Each one seeming to go by slower then the first. Yuki's world was filled with the insistent ticking.

Yuki watched his clock.

11:15

11:17

11:20

He had promised Tohma he wouldn't leave that day, but the minute the clock struck midnight he would be out of the house and looking for Shuichi once again.

11:21

…………………………………………………………………………

He woke up with his teeth chattering and his face numb from being pressed against the cold surface of the pavement.

His stomach was sticky but it seemed like the bleeding had slowed down. Not enough to save him, but enough for him to make it to where he had to go.

Lifting his face Shuichi's eyes filled with tears. He was there, he had made it.

The newfound joy gave Shuichi the energy to rise and make his way across the street. But then he was filled with disappointment. The man was not there.

Shuichi lay down on a bench and pulled his legs closer to him. He would be here. The man would come. He just had to wait.

His blue lips shivered and his pale hands rubbed his arms for warmth.

_I just have to wait. Just a little longer. Just a little longer._

_Maybe if I sing, he will hear me. Maybe if I sing, he will come._

And Shuichi sang with all the strength he had in his being. And he sang the most beautiful song that mankind had ever heard. He sang a song of lost love.

And as he sang the small pieces of a memory came together. He saw the man in his mind, the night they had met. A piece of paper blew out of his hand and flew like a dove towards the man. The man picked it up, his hair gleaming in the light from the moon.

Shuichi smiled as he sang, he could finally remember the face of the man.

…………………………………………………………………………..

11:57

11:58

11:59

12:00

And Yuki was flying out of bed, grabbing his coat and running towards the door. He had just reached his car when he heard it. The music was carried with the wind and seemed to pure to be real. But he knew that voice. He had memorized every word and every sound that was spoken with that voice.

And he was running, faster then he ever thought was possible. His shoes had flown off at his car but still he kept running.

_Please don't let me be dreaming. Let this be real._

Yuki flew through the entrance of the park, drawing nearer and closer to the voice.

"Shuichi!"

……………………………………………………………………………

"Shuichi!"

_Shuichi? I know that voice; it's him he's come for me._

Shuichi raised slowly, his vision blurry and his head pounding. He walked over to the fence and braced himself against it. He could hear footsteps drawing closer to him.

He cried out as new pain shot through his chest. Everything started to get fuzzy around the edges.

_No just a little bit further, just a little bit further._

A head of gold rounded the corner, piercing eyes frantic as they searched.

Their eyes met, and at that moment Shuichi felt his body finally giving in.

He had seen the man one last time, now he could finally sleep. Now he could die.

…………………………………………………………………………..

As if by miracle there he was. His pink hair blowing in the breeze, his skin a complete contrast to the ruby red of the blood on his shirt.

"Shuichi!" Yuki screamed as he raced towards him.

Shuichi smiled and then closed his eyes. His knees buckled underneath him and he began to fall. Yuki jumped and caught him before he hit the ground, Shuichi landed on top of him.

Yuki cradled Shuichi's body in his arms, holding his lover close to his chest.

"Shuichi! Shuichi look at me! Come on Shu look at me."

Shuichi struggled to open his eyes, his body shook uncontrollably with shivers and his eyes fluttered open.

"It's you," he whispered, all the strength gone from his body. "I knew you would be here."

Shuichi raised his hand and with great effort touched Yuki's cheek. Yuki held Shuichi's hand there and kissed his palm.

"You're going to be ok," Yuki said as tears gathered in his eyes, "You found me so you just have to hang on a bit longer ok. I'm going to get you to the hospital."

"Don't cry," Shuichi's own eyes had now filled with tears, "Just…let me sleep."

"No Shuichi you can't sleep you have to stay with me ok." Yuki picked up Shuichi and was now running back to his house, "Talk to me Shuichi, just keep talking."

They were at the house and Yuki was jumping into the car, putting Shuichi into the passenger side.

The car squealed out of the driveway and down the street.

"Shuichi keep talking. Come on."

"My name's Shuichi?" his voice was barely heard over the hum of the engine.

"Yes your Shuichi Shindou, you're the lead singer of a band called Bad Luck. Your best friend is named Hiro and you have parents and a little sister."

"A sister…"

"Yes that's right, her name is Maiko."

"Tell me about you."

"My names Eiri Yuki, I'm a romance novelist. I have a sister and a brother and a really annoying brother in law. I killed someone in New York and you didn't care. You still stayed with me. You saved my life."

Yuki looked over at Shuichi to see his eyes closing, "Open your eyes Shuichi we're almost there!"

"I remember…something… I remember."

His eyes started to close.

The hospital was only a block away.

"I remember…"

"Come on Shuichi a little further."

Shuichi opened his eyes and met Yuki's gaze. "I found you."

"Yes you found me, please Shuichi please," Yuki begged, "Just a little longer."

Then Shuichi closed his eyes, and sighed.

"I remember…I love you."

Yuki burst into the parking lot and jumped out of the car before it fully stopped. He swung open the door and scooped up Shuichi, tears pouring down his face.

"Please help!" he screamed as he ran through the hospital doors. "Help him please!"

They took Shuichi from his arms and wheeled him away.

Yuki fell to the ground unable to control his tears. He knew the feeling would never leave him. He would always remember what it felt like to carry Shuichi through the doors of the hospital…and to not be able to feel him breathing.

To not feel his heart beating.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**(A/N and that… is the end of Chapter 11… I think I will put up one more chapter after this… and then im thinking of doing a Sequel. Please Review and tell me if I should make a sequel and tell me what you thought of this chapter.)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**(A/N hello everyone!! Sorry I haven't updated in a while I was just finishing up exams…neways here is the very last chapter of my fanfic I really hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it…much love to Cappy!!**

**And without further ado**

**Chapter 12**

…………………………………………………………..

He was still on the floor crying when Tohma arrived. He just couldn't stop, and it scared him. But what scared him more was the fact that when he carried Shuichi's body through the door, he hadn't been breathing.

"Eiri, are you alright?" Tohma knelt down beside his brother-in-law.

Yuki turned to him and cried in his shoulder. "Oh God Tohma, he's dead, Shuichi is dead."

They stayed like that for a couple minutes and Tohma was greatly reminded of Yuki crying like this as a sixteen year old. But what shocked Tohma was that now, Yuki was even more heartbroken then that time. Yuki truly loved Shuichi.

"Eiri," Tohma held Yuki's head at arms length as he wiped away his tears. "Don't lose hope just yet, you have to be strong. Shuichi doesn't need that negative energy.

"..Ok... give me a minute Tohma," Yuki rose on shaky feet and made his way outside. Maybe a cigarette would make him feel better.

Oh God I'm a mess. Now I'm breaking down in the middle of hospitals. Soon I'm going to be crying everyday like the brat.

_I do not cry all the time! Yuki why do you have to be so mean to me!_

_He heard the voice as clear as day. That was a couple of weeks ago. Shuichi had started crying over the fact that Yuki had been working on his novel three days in a row. Shuichi said he missed him. _

_And I… I told him to suck it up and I told him he cried too much. _

_I was so horrible to him sometimes. No… more then sometimes._

_It's ok Yuki I still love you! Just get your work done ok. I know that you don't mean most of the things you say. _

_And Shuichi leaned in closer and kissed Yuki softly on the forehead, then walked out of the study door. _

_No Shuichi come back! I'm sorry! Shuichi!_

_Shuichi turned and smiled at him, his amethyst eyes bright and happy. But then his face slowly turned pale, his lips turned blue and he shook from the cold. A deep red spread from his stomach and his eyes started to grow duller and duller, until they were empty._

_Shuichi!_

"Eiri wake up!"

Yuki jumped up from where he had been lying on the grass.

"I must have fallen asleep," he squeezed his eyes to try and get the image out of his head.

"Eiri…"

"What...whats wrong?"

"Just... just come with me Eiri."

Yuki stood up and followed Tohma into the hospital. They walked into the critical care unit, and Yuki spotted Dr.Takuto standing over by one of the hospital beds in the corner.

He turned as they came closer; the look on his face was that of utter dread.

Yuki could feel tears prickling at the back of his eyes but he fought them back. The room started to get smaller as he walked foreward. Time seemed to stand still, and all the sounds of the hospital were muted. He couldn't hear what the doctor was saying to Tohma. The only thing that filled his world right now, was Shuichi lying on that hospital bed…with a sheet over his head.

"Can you," his voice cracked, "can you give us a minute."

"Sure thing Eiri."

And then he was alone with Shuichi.

Yuki slowly made his way around the side of the bed, and sat in the chair that was there. With a shaking hand he reached over and pulled the sheet down from over Shuichi. He could have been sleeping. Yuki was waiting for him to open his eyes. To open bright eyes and smile his smile and to tell him that it's ok. Tell him that is wasn't his fault.

"Shuichi. Shuichi it's me," Yuki reached over and held Shuichi's hand. It was cold. He was cold. So very, very cold.

"Shuichi…Shu… I need you to do something for me. I know I shouldn't be asking you anything right now but please can you do something for me. I need you to open your eyes. Shu I need you to open your eyes and look at me. Please Shuichi just for me, open you eyes."

Tears started trickling down Yuki's face as he waited. He knew that nothing would happen. He knew that Shuichi would never open his eyes again… but still he hoped. He waited and waited, looking for the slightest flutter of eyelashes. For the smallest sign of life. But of course… nothing happened.

Yuki reached over and softly brushed Shuichi's strawberry coloured hair out of his face. His hair was soft, just like it always was. Yuki ran his fingers through Shuichi's hair as he talked to him, leaning in until their faces were inches apart.

"Shu…if you won't open your eyes, can you smile for me. You could always smile…even when it was a completely miserable day. Even when I was being a complete jerk, you always smiled for me Shuichi. So please just smile for me. Shu please, I need to see your smile one more time. Please Shuichi smile for me. Please."

But Shuichi… didn't smile.

Yuki climbed into the hospital bed beside Shuichi and held his small body close.

"Shu…I need you to wake up. Oh God Shuichi please, please wake up. Please I can't live without you. I need you Shuichi, you're the only good thing in my life. So please Shu… wake up. Open your eyes and smile… and… and… oh god Shuichi please don't leave me. Please stay with me."

Yuki buried his face into Shuichi's hair, the scent of strawberries was as strong as ever.

_Yuki came home and could hear the shower on. Shuichi was singing one of his songs, totally at ease and happy. Yuki sat outside of the bathroom door, listening to his lover's amazing voice. The shower turned off and the bathroom door opened. Shuichi stepped out wearing only a towel. Yuki stood up, taking in his lover's amazing body which still glistened with water. Shuichi turned to him, his eyes bright and glowing and a big smile was spread across his face. It was at times like that, when Yuki's walls went down. He stepped foreward and pulled him into a hug, burying his face into Shuichi's wet hair, the sweet smell of strawberries overwhelming. _

"_I love you Yuki."_

Yuki closed his eyes and opened them, hopeing that when he opened them again Shuichi would be alive. But when he opened his eyes, the frail body he held in his arms was still lifeless.

Yuki kissed Shuichi's forehead, then he held him so their foreheads were touching. How many times had be layed in bed like his with Shuichi, breathing in Shuichi's sweet breath. Watching him as he slept, the way his eyes would fluttered ever so slightly, or the way he would talk in his sleep. The soft blush of his cheeks and the deep pink of his lips. The way his hair would fall into his eyes and Yuki would feel the need to brush it away, and as he did he would feel Shuichi's soft skin, warm to the touch. If he held him close enough he could feel Shuichi's heart beating against his chest. And Shuichi would curl closer into Yuki's chest and whispher "I love you". And as Shuichi fell back to sleep, Yuki would hold him closer and whisper "I love you" back to him.

But now, no breath escaped Shuichi's lips. His eyes didn't flutter and his skin was a pale gray, no colour touched his lips or his cheeks. His skin was cold to the touch and when Yuki held him close, he could not feel any heart beating.

"Dammit Shuichi I didn't give you permission to leave me. Who said you could die and leave me here. You're not aloud to leave me. So come back. Come back Shuichi… please… I love you so much Shuichi please come back. I'm sorry ok. I'm sorry I was always so mean to you. And I'm sorry I made you leave that night, and I'm sorry this happened to you… and I'm sorry… I never told you how much you meaned to me. I love you ok, I said it… you can come back now. Please…Shu, come back. Please…Shuichi…."

"Shuichi… baka why did you have to get yourself into this? Why didn't you go to Hiro's like you always do? Why did you go with Taki? Why… did you let me throw you out? Shu…Shu…I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Forgive me Shuichi. I'm sorry, forgive me."

Yuki pulled Shuichi even closer, sobs shaking his body uncontroably as he held his angel in his arms. An angel whose voice would only ever be heard again in the next life.

And Yuki held Shuichi's tighter, his own tears soaking into Shuichi's hair, as he whispered sweet "I love yous" that Shuichi couldn't hear.

………………………………………………………………………….

After that the days went by in a blur. Yuki hadn't left his room let alone his house since he was brought back by Tohma. The funeral was being held today, so Yuki forced himself out of bed.

The house was empty…cold. Too many memories swirling around.

"_Morning Yuki, rise and shine, it's a beautiful day out," Shuichi bounded into bed and landed on top of Yuki. A huge smile on his face. "I love you Yuki."_

If he listened closely, sometimes Yuki could swear he heard Shuichi's voice, forever preserved in the house.

And sometimes late at night he swore he heard Shuichi singing him a lullaby. The tune was familiar but Yuki couldn't place it just yet.

Tohma picked him up and brought him to the church. It was packed with people that Yuki had seen before but didn't know. Hiro sat beside him… he cried the whole time. Shuichi's parents sat in front of them…his mother never stopped crying either.

The wake was worse then the actual funeral. Shuichi looked like he would sit up at any moment.

They walked one by one to the coffin.

Hiro followed Shuichi's parents. "Hey man, how you doing? You look good… you'd be surprised at how many chicks came to see you off man. Oh God Shuichi… I'm really going to miss you. Are you sure this isn't a joke man. If it is it's not funny Shuichi…it's not funny at all."

Yuki couldn't bring himself to walk to the coffin. He didn't want to see Shuichi like that. He wanted to see Shuichi alive. He wanted Shuichi to come back.

Watching them close the coffin had to be the worst thing to happen that day. It meant that it was all real. It meant that Shuichi really was dead.

Once the service was over Shuichi's close friends and family left to the cemetery. Yuki was the last to arrive.

He watched as they slowly lowered his lover into the ground. He watched them shovel dirt over him, sealing him into the earth, where he would forever stay. He watched as each of them lay a flower on top of his grave. He watched them all walk away.

Finally, when they all had left Yuki slowly walked foreward.

_"Shuichi Shindou_

_Beloved Son  
Brother_

_Friend_

_And Lover_

_Let the wings of his song lift his spirit, away from all of lifes pain. Let him find peace and beauty in the next life. Let his song live on forever in those who knew him."_

Yuki leant foreward and gently placed a red rose at the foot of the grace. As he turned, and with tears in his eyes he whisphered softly, "I will always love you Shuichi Shindou. Please wait for me."

Yuki didn't even notice when he made it home. He just curled up in bed and cried. The moon and stars shone through the bedroom window, and he finally remembered that song.

Shuichi had been going on about how romantic it was. The song was called "Tonight" by an America band called "FM Static". Yuki thought it was the stupidest song in the world… but the chorus… the chorus was what stayed with him far into the night.

_Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up_

_I need your loving hands to come and pick me up_

_And every night I miss you, I can just look up_

_And know the stars are_

_Holding you, holding you, holding you_

_Tonight_

Yuki stayed there for hours after dawn, replaying that song over and over in his head as he remembered Shuichi. As he cried for his angel.

"Eiri."

"Tohma?... leave me alone, get out of my house. I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Eiri we have to go."

"We don't have to go anywhere, I want to stay here. Please Tohma the bed still smells like him."

"Eiri we have to talk to him."

"Leave me alone."

"The doctor's waiting Eiri, you have to wake up."

"What…"

……………………………………………………………………………….

Yuki's eyes flung open and he looked up to see Tohma leaning over him.

"Eiri, come on the doctor has news for us."

Yuki slowly sat up, his face was stiff from dry tears.

_It was a dream_. _It was all just a dream._

But as Yuki followed Tohma through the hospital something clenched in the pit of his stomach.

_But it might not be a dream._

They passed the ICU much to Yuki's surprise, and instead went to a private room.

And there Yuki saw Shuichi. There was too many machines attached to him to count but the only thing Yuki carried about was the beeping of the heart monitor beside the bed. Shuichi's heart was beating…Shuichi was alive.

**(A/N I was going to leave it there but then I remembered that this was supposed to be the last chapter lmao so I continued a bit more :P)**

Yuki almost didn't believe it. Just seconds before he had held Shuichi's dead body in his arms. He had felt the coldness of his skin, he had felt his frail body unmoving. He had gone to his funeral and watched them lay him in the ground. But… Shuichi was there.

Yuki slowly walked over, his hand shaking as he reached out to Shuichi. The minute his hand made contact with Shuichi's forehead a single tear fell down his face. It was warm. Shuichi was warm to the touch. In fact he could tell that Shuichi was in fact burning up with fever, but anything was better then the coldness that he had felt earlier. Anything was better then that emptiness.

Shuichi mumbled something, and turned his head towards Yuki, putting the slightest pressure against Yuki's hand.

Then his eyes fluttered softly and he eased himself against Yuki's hand and fell back to sleep.

……………………………………………………………………………………

According to the doctor Shuichi was going to be ok…physically that is. He had lost a lot of blood and suffered from a slight case of hypothermia but he was going to be ok, everything was going to heal.

But his mind on the other hand, was a different story. He stilled suffered from amnesia and the doctor had no way of telling when…or if he would remember who he was.

"Mr.Yuki this is a big responsibility. Are you sure you want to take this on by yourself."

Yuki looked at the sleeping Shuichi and turned back to the doctor. "I don't want him to spend who knows how long in a hospital. I want him back at home with me. I think it will help with his memory if he was back at home."

And with that the doctor nodded and left, and Yuki went over to Shuichi.

He started running his fingers through his lovers hair, watching him. His eyes took in every part of Shuichi. His chest rising with each breath, his eyes that every once in a while would flutter.

Then his eyes actually opened. Yuki's heart clenched when he saw his lover's eyes. As bright as they had always been, though they were filled with confusion and sadness.

Yuki continued to stroke his lover's head and leaned in ever so slightly.

"I know you don't remember me, and that's alright. Because I know you, Shuichi Shindou. I know you and I will stay with you through all of this. You don't have to be afraid. Your not alone."

As tears started to well in Shuichi's eyes Yuki leaned even closer and soflty kissed him on the head. He held his lover close and let him cry, letting him know that he would never leave him. That he would always be there.

Shuichi clung to Yuki with every fibre of his being, because he had finally found him. The one person who he knew would keep him safe. Who he knew would love him.

"I love you," Shuichi whisperd the words and they brought on a fresh set of tears. Those words were the only thing that Shuichi knew in this world. The only thing that he believed with all his being were true.

"Baka," Yuki gazed into Shuichi's eyes and soflty placed a kiss on his lips.

"I love you more then you could possibly imagine."

And Shuichi fell asleep in the arms of the man he had just met, but had known forever. Holding those words in his mind as he drifted off… because deep down, past the darkness and the sadness…he knew that the man had spoken the truth. He knew that he would never leave him…he knew that he cared. And at that moment he truly believed, beyond a shadow of a doubt…that everything… would be ok.

**(A/N and that was Chapter 12…thank you so much guys for reviewing and reading this fic… I will start a sequel I just don't know quiet yet when… I will tell you by adding another chapter to this story with the information so if your interested in a sequel put this under Story Alert… neways I would like to give my love to Captara who has beta'd me through this and helped me come up with the title I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed…you really kept this story alive and made it exciting for me. I hope too see you all in the sequel, when I get around to doing it lol ******** so please EVERYONE REVIEW FOR THE LAST TIME LOL!!3**

**Thank you: SexyRyu28, buchouslvr, ****EvilAngelofHeavenandHell****, kaza85, ****Kinky O o h . l a . l a a****, ****Eveliina92****, Kin Inu, gravichick, ****Library Drone SAR****, ****FFirst2L****, amith, suvaki, ****burnnningangel666****, ****coffee-house-girl****, ****orange sheep of the flock****, ****fan girl 666****, ****amalazadriel****, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, ****HuMaN-EaTiNg-PaNdA -HEP-****, Twilight Emo Wind Goddess 801, ****hunted-snark****, sweet yaoi blood, natsumi, ****lil joker****, **

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	13. AN

**A/N**

Heyyyy guys long time no talk…well I am done with my little break and I'm ready to come back with the sequel to A Minds Dark Abyss: Haven or Prison… I will be posting the first chapter by the end of the day and I hope you all read and review! It's going to be called:

**A Minds Dark Abyss: A Prison To Be Escaped**

Well anyways hope to hear from you all soon!!

Much Love!

Capricorn2645


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